Truth

The truth is, I have learnt a lot in my last semester. Albeit my worst semester ever, it was the semester where I got the best results. But of course, nothing is ever measured in terms of results, apart from grades which seem like everything to most of us. My commencement is tomorrow so it'd be good to recollect the memories for a truly new beginning tomorrow.
So here goes, just want to recall everything I can, both good and bad. I know I emphasize 'alone' quite a bit. Because I am kind of afraid to be alone.

1. Travelling to school and then back home alone almost everyday. I know this isn't that big a deal to anyone, but I was used to meeting a friend everyday at woodlands mrt and then boarding the train to school together. Everything. Together. Same modules, same everything. Well, almost.

2. Taking a module(s) alone. Almost alone anyway. I don't really consider people who make use of me as friends at all. But the good thing(s) that came out of this was making new friends. Not just hi-bye friends, at that point in time, but people I can actually talk to with little restraint. And I actually enjoyed lectures sitting alone, and interestingly, lectures were or appeared to be more interesting when I was alone. Maybe I was less affected by people surrounding me, or maybe the lecture was really interesting and got me thinking about things like cancer treatments, how they can be modified for better efficacy. I know I'm just thinking on the surface since what I know is barely the tip of the iceberg. But the fact was that I was really upset during the semester over having to take modules alone and having no one to discuss assignments and scientific papers with. Never felt so desperate before, not knowing how to do an assignment and not even knowing if what I wrote was correct. 

3. Days in the library with four leaves' sandwich and soya milk. Because I started dieting this semester after being realising I gained a lot of weight throughout my 3 years of non-exercise. I would leave house to reach school at about 12 to study alone (haha emphasizing it again) before my only lecture at 4 on Tuesdays. Buy a sandwich and soya milk from frontier for lunch and head to the library. Sounds so no life and foreveralone right? Okay nevermind, back to the sandwich. I actually really like it because it's egg and ham, and the bread (wholemeal) is so soft and healthy. And soya bean milk became one of my favourite drinks after I learnt in FST2201 that the amount of protein in bean products are comparable to those in meat. Healthy food made me kind of happy, knowing that I was being healthy and I could step on the weighing scale without dread the next morning. Silly I know.

4. Modified notes. Hmm don't know if I should even be saying this here, but this is my blog so anything goes. I can't believe I actually did something like that, but I did. To people who simply make use of me, sorry you're not even my friend. And why do you even think you deserve my notes? They make themselves out to be so noble, to 'accompany' me in taking this module, but you're not even here half the time. And truthfully, I didn't need your 'accompanying' because I didn't even enjoy your company. Ironic much.

5. Falling asleep at the table with my highlighter on my notes. This actually happened many many many times, when I would be reading research papers and nod off because I either don't understand them or they are too boring. Then the ink would penetrate through the entire stack of papers and I end up with one big splotch on the paper. Then I would show this to my friend the next day and she would laugh at me. hahaha.