Well I hope everyone's had a great Lunar New Year! Long weekends are always welcome for much needed rest, for both the students and the working adult (it sounds so old) like me, but the end of it never fails to make me feel gloomy and dreadful.
Some realisations I got from meeting relatives who visited, and whom I visited.
1. I very much prefer straightforward people
Well doesn't everyone? Instead of people who sneak behind your back and do things secretly, I prefer people who are honest and tell everyone how they feel out loud. And people who keep quiet and mum in front of you, but are discreetly plotting things are the scariest of all. But I tell myself that I have done nothing wrong and hence have nothing to fear. While I don't give a hoot about what they think of me, the thing that annoyed me the most was how I felt so betrayed when the person I loved the most loved the people I don't give a damn about. I try so hard to take it in my stride but I just can't. I can't keep myself from being hostile. I tell myself that it has always been like that and try to accept it, but I simply can't. I guess there is some truth in the quote 'hate is the result of wounded love'.
2. As the years go by, these festivals really lose its meaning for me
When I was a kid, I used to look forward to new year, so that I would be able to see my cousins and everyone else, but now that I've grown up (well, at least in terms of age), I don't really look forward to meeting the relatives, feeling awkward at gatherings because no one is interested in talking to me, acting like the show on television is very interesting to avoid talking to anyone, avoiding eating because I feel bad to pass the used plate to whoever is doing the dishes since I'm capable of washing my own plate and feel bad about it. What I do enjoy is serving the guests when they come over to our house. At least I'm kept busy trying to introduce them to the baked stuff my Mum made, preparing food for them. I was also very thankful for the opportunity to meet my paternal relatives whom I've not met for 5 years. They are the ones who are so loud and I can't be more than thankful for them because the atmosphere was so much better than the awkward and silent one when another group of relatives were over.
And these days, I've been thinking a little too much (possibly because I've been given too much time alone) for my own good and feeling down. Too many negative thoughts in my head, but I tell myself that these days won't last for long. I'll get happier. Perhaps I'll seek solace in some retail therapy soon. Afterall, one definitely will feel happier after some shopping.
Haven't been blogging much recently or posting my favourite food photos. Will get down to them soon(:
