Favourite cake

Does anyone have a favourite cake? I know all I talk about is food and the occasional drabble sometimes, but I really love having nice food! Sometimes when I anticipate that I'd have something more unique, my bubble is totally burst when someone suggests food court. Like !$^*))@%&(&%$#. Not that I always want to have expensive food or anything, I do eat at food courts, coffee shops and hawker centres during my lunch time and I enjoy hawker fare like yong tau foo, dumpling noodles and all.. But my point is that if someone is going to suggest food republic or something, I rather eat something nicer by paying a little more.

So here's my favourite cake, or just one of my favourites, or just another in my whole long list of favourites. Hahaha. The starbuck's Chocolate peanut butter stack! What more can I ask for? All my favourites in a cake. But I really do need to state that I cannot finish one entire slice on my own! CVD, Diabetes and HTN will all come looking for me if I do finish one whole slice. Meant to be shared among two or more people. Look at the thick layer of caramel. This is also my grandma's favourite. She actually told me to learn how to make. But how, I cannot find any recipe for it. With so many different layers of. chocolate and peanut butter,  I doubt it'd be any easy work so I'm much better off buying one slice from Starbucks. Better than baking one entire cake and having to try very hard to desperately finish the cake.

Next up, two cakes I tried recently at Pique Nique because my Mum had a one-for-one voucher!

Red velvet cake. First time trying a red velvet cake! I know this is so random, but  the powder(??) or rather, cake crumbs at the top always remind me of a golf course, though it's not green at all. No idea why. Really pretty looking, but sadly was a little too dry for our liking. I liked the cream cheese though! Better shared. I always think it's good to share desserts, then you get to try a bit of everything, right?

Chocolate caramel cake! Wow this was really really good. Don't be fooled by its plain and ordinary brown looking exterior, it's full of goodness inside. Okay I know this sounds like some tagline out of an advertisement, but really! Topped with a chocolate shortbread and layer of ganache, beneath lay a layer of salted caramel (which I tried for the very first time) and mini cubes of chocolatey things (really have to use 'things' because I have no idea what they were) and the last layer which was chocolate mousse. But as always, I wouldn't be able to finish this on my own. Too much of something good can become bad as well. Reminds me of a quote from Joy Luck club about Lena and her ice cream. 'I wondered why eating so much ice cream made me feel so terrible', something like that. 

Pot of Earl Grey tea which we ordered as well. We were pretending to have high tea when it was already six in the evening. Hahaha. It was nice having a cup of warm tea after having the cakes. 

Sometimes when life gets too routine, I can't help but fall into the trap of thinking that everyone with a certain condition behaves/thinks the same way. But this is so untrue. No two people are ever the same, so how can I treat them all the same? Which is why I admire people who can remain dedicated in their job even after 20 years. Hence I constantly remind myself that 'Everyone has a story.' Everyone is a dearly loved son/daughter/father/mother, however they might behave. I believe by having constant reminders, this will become a habit in time to come. And while I once mentioned that one should never compare oneself with others, I believe that everyone should strive to be a better person than they were the day before. And that is how we improve.

Wonderful weekends

In my imagination, weekends were meant to be spent looking for nice cafes, trying out food at never-been-to restaurants. Basically nothing significant but just enjoyable so that we face the next week refreshed and ready to take on the coming week.

So I finally got to go to Strictly Pancakes. I've been looking at their menu since like forever. Rather accessible and it was within walking distance from Dhoby Ghaut MRT station. It was already rather crowded when we arrived at about 12. I think we got the last seats, so I guess we were quite lucky and didn't need to wait. 

Maple syrup and butter. They had quite a few choices of butter. Su xian and I both chose garlic and herb butter. I liked the maple syrup glass which was designed to slant sideways. I really really love pancakes. I don't really like carbohydrates in general, like rice or noodles, but give me pancakes and waffles anytime! And I don't even need them garnished with any special sauce or cooked in any special way. Just pancakes or waffles drizzled with honey or maple syrup would make me a happy girl. 

So here's my double stack, basically just two pancakes looking so pathetic. Didn't want to add sides like eggs or sausages because Su xian suggested having the sweet pancakes as a dessert to be shared. And the waitress taking our orders actually looked a little shocked that we wanted to order three 'sets' for just two of us. It came with just the two pancakes on the huge plate so I hurriedly placed the butter and maple syrup on the plate to make it look less pathetic hahaha. The pancakes were really fluffy and thick, unlike the ones we make at home. And these pancakes tasted less sweet as well, if you get what I mean. Pancakes usually taste a little sweet, right? And I actually finished the maple syrup, while Su xian finished her butter. 

Su xian's Chicken a la king. She says it tasted good! I think I tasted the chicken which was chicken fillet. So it wasn't tough or dry like the chicken breast. 

And here! The dessert pancake I've been wanting to try: What a spread! A mixture of all my favourites. Peanut butter pancakes with nutella spread and ice cream! And the kinder bueno is a bonus. Hahaha. I actually wanted to order just this and Su xian insisted that this was a dessert. And when they served this after we finished our first 'set', the girls at the next table looked at us like we were gluttons. There they were at their tables complaining that they couldn't finish their own set of pancakes and here we were, starting on our dessert. But they did admit that this looked really good. And I loved this so much, really. I'm going to order this again if I ever visit once more. And this time, it will be my main course. Though the peanut butter taste was not really strong, it tasted good with all my favourite flavours mixed altogether. 

Had a really satisfying meal and as usual, I didn't know how full I was until moments after I finished my meal, which meant that I actually over-ate again. But I let it pass then because it's my favourite food of all time. Shall look for more places that serve pancakes! Please don't tell me Macdonald's Hotcakes, though I used to like those too, but I've since stopped having Macdonalds because of articles I read about how unhealthy they are and all so..

Beauty

On the way home today I pondered over the concept of beauty. After spending a huge part of my first salary and possibly even my savings on facial sessions and beauty products recommended by the lady who does my facials, I couldn't help but feel a huge pinch, a really really huge pinch.

Thinking in my heart 'These products better be good and last me a year or more because they cost so much. I'm going to make them last, by using them sparingly each time.'

We all fall prey to the words of beauty advisors, or simply people who claim they know more about beautifying than us. Taken in by their words and believing that we really can become what they claim we can become, we willingly pay for the products and decide to give them a try, forgetting about the huge amount of products we still have sitting at home untouched.

More than the products, I feel it's the glimmer of hope that we pay for. The hope that things will get better. Such is the nature of humans, to always yearn for something better than what they currently have. Hardly ever satisfied, we crave for more. And that is how these businesses thrive, beauty parlours and slimming centres alike.

Such things we all know, yet we still fall. I guess that is how we all are. So there I go again, hoping these products will be the last I try.

Perhaps I should change all the 'We' in the paragraphs into 'I', but I'm pretty sure there are many people like me around so I'll just leave it that way.

On a side note, I think the easiest way to derive happiness from work is to align your own personal goals with the goals of the work you're doing. Once one is able to do that, fulfillment of work-related goals will make one happy and satisfied. Right now, I'm able to say that I've really made the right decision in choosing this job, albeit its emotional side effects and how I get upset and worried when checking results as well as having to continue being independent. But that is how we all learn, when we're forced (not really, I chose it knowingly) into the situation. So I will definitely rise up to the expectations and know that I will emerge a stronger person through it all.

Imperfect

Most of the time, we all get irritated at others because of things they do or things they don't do. All this time, feeling irritated/annoyed, picking at others' faults. Never once looking back at ourselves. All this time, thinking we are perfect and blameless.

And since we aren't, who are we to get angry at others when they're just being themselves?

Often, it just takes a little reflection to realise how ridiculous I can be, in terms of getting angry and all. I always think I'm irritated at others, but upon closer inspection of my feelings, I get ashamed of myself and in turn get annoyed at my own childishness or immaturity.

I have always thought that I have reached a certain level of maturity and would frown upon people who say that I'm immature. Thinking again, I'm not as mature as I think I am and I really want to think deeper, think more for others, be more gracious, be more accepting of others and most importantly, stop thinking of myself. I know it is human nature to put oneself first, to think about one's own benefits. But I really hate that I'm so selfish. Although I stop when I realise I'm thinking too much for myself and start putting others first before myself, why can't I exclude myself from the equation altogether? We need to stop being so calculative with people who we care about and who care for us. I can gladly say that I'm trying to and making good progress.

I have so much more to learn in life, so much more to ponder upon now that my mind is uncluttered and free of lecture notes and exams. And for life's lessons, I guess one truly needs to open their eyes and heart to learn, for the answers will never be as simple as regurgitating a whole set of notes.

I want to be a better person than I was the day before. I think it's a goal we should all strive towards. At least it shows that we're always becoming better each day compared to the day before.

Another aspect that God has been speaking to me about is forgiveness. Although I don't admit this often, I can't deny that I find it really difficult to forgive people and their actions. While I can not mention it at all, it doesn't mean that I have forgotten what caused me hurt. I think it's like my own protective mechanism because if I remember what caused the pain or disappointment earlier, I wouldn't feel the same hurt all over again if a similar incident happens again. I really look forward to the day that I can say I forgive. For now, I need to try harder.

드디어

I actually typed majority of this post on 19th September, which was the day I went for the interview for the job I got. No idea why I did that. Nothing was set in stone and I even had another interview the day after. It wasn't that I was sure that I got the job or anything, but I felt like it was just different from the previous interviews I went for and for the first time, I stepped out of the building happily smiling like an idiot. So here goes, my thoughts on interviews and job searches.

I won't go into detail about answering specific questions since you can just Google for the answers like I did, I'll focus more on more practical aspects. I don't claim to be an expert since I've had my hard times and have experienced the feeling of failures and dejection so many times during this time before I got a job, stumbling many times during my previous interviews, not knowing what to say.

1. Know what you want

Okay I know this is not really an interview tip but more of a job search tip. Really, this is first and foremost the most important thing that you need to know, and I guess no one can tell you what you want except yourself. After I finished my exams, I was really at a loss, because I didn't know what I wanted out of life, didn't know what I wanted to do, didn't know what jobs to look for. But luckily for me, I was given opportunities to realize what I wanted to do. So take the time to think about what you want, and once you realise it like I did, you'll be able to move in that direction!

Also, there is really no point in applying for a job that you don't have any interest in. I actually applied for some which I felt I didn't mind doing, like research (?!!). But when the interview looms upon you, you'll just feel really sian and all, thinking why other jobs that you actually want don't call you up for interviews while jobs that you don't really want call you up instead. And even if they offer you the job (which would be quite unlikely because they can tell if you're suitable for the job, so you technically waste your time and transport fare), you are unlikely to accept it since it's not what you want. That's why it's important to just apply for those you truly want! I learnt the hard way and went through so much struggles but it's fine! I think of it as lessons to learn before I reach my destination and get what I want. 

2. Be honest

Be honest with the interviewers, and more importantly, yourself. I don't believe in lying, and can't bring myself to tell lies, so I probably have a harder time during interviews because I can't boast/inflate my capabilities to even sound convincing, so I just worked with the strengths that I knew I had and told the truth. I mean of course you need to prepare for the interview by reading up on what they do, what they're about. and think of possible answers to their questions. The standard ones like 'Tell me about yourself', 'What are your strengths and weaknesses?', as well as 'Where do you see yourself in five years?'. But don't actually memorise the answer. Just think of what you want to say and then elaborate on them during the interview. It would help to read through and know the job description and job requirements very well. For my last two interviews, I read and tried to understand all the information stated in the job advertisement and it helped when I had to ask them questions. It would also appear to them that you've prepared well and that would give you an edge over others! And DO NOT MEMORISE A SCRIPT. Because half the time you'll be trying to remember the exact words and look so unnatural. Just keep your mind open and you'll naturally think of things to say, I feel!

3. Remain calm
My friend told me to take a deep breath and enter the interview room but I didn't do that although I always wanted to. So, just remain calm and don't feel nervous. Think of it as a casual conversation between you and the interviewers. Afterall, you're getting to know what the job is about and whether it's suitable or not, and not just them deciding whether you're suitable for the job. It was in the interviews that I remained calm and truly felt like I was having a conversation with the interviewers that I felt I did better. Not trying to say that I was very good, but I felt like I was showing a more natural side of myself (in spite of the slight nervous-ness). I was glad when they laughed and joked a bit. I'm not sure if that's how they were naturally friendly, but it certainly made me feel much better. Co-incidentally, in the interviews where the interviewers were really friendly were the jobs that I received offers from. 

4. Have faith

When you've done your best during the interview, thinking that it went well, that maybe 'Yes! This is it. I'm getting the job for sure.' But one week comes and goes, with no phone call/e-mail from them. Friends or school mates who graduated together with you have found jobs while you're still waiting for that call or new calls from other companies. It's inevitable that you might feel upset and that things might be unfair, but always remember at any point in time, don't ever feel that you're lousier than them or that they're better than you. I admit it's easy to sink and wallow in despair, to complain and rant over why others are luckier, why you're so unlucky, why you need to suffer all these.

Really, it's just a matter of waiting for the right job to come. It's not just about you looking for the job, it's actually also the right job looking for you. Going to sound all preachy again, but just believe that God has a perfect plan for you, and we'll never know the grandest of His plans until His perfect timing arrives. So in the meantime, just have faith that God will provide for you. I did just that, believing that God will definitely provide for me as long as I keep having faith, remain cheerful and make everyday count instead of counting the days. There is no point in getting upset and live life so gloomy and crying (like I have done so many times before I sorted out my thinking) because even if you do all those, it doesn't mean that a job will come to you. It was the times when I let go of everything, stopped worrying and put everything into God's loving hands that I received calls and emails for interviews. When the dates of the interviews drew nearer, I did panic a little because I was always last minute in my preparations for the interviews (reading up on the mission and vision and all), but before the interview, I just told myself that 'I can do everything through Him who gives me strength'.

5. Keep smiling and remain friendly
I know this is really really difficult considering how nervous you'll be during the interview, but if you remember my 3rd advice, which is to remain calm and relax yourself, you'll find it almost natural to be talking to them normally and soon, you'll be having a normal chat with people who might become your supervisors or bosses. This would be easier if you have interviewers who are friendly and joke with you a little, but even if you don't, just keep smiling.

6. Sometimes, it's luck
I know this is hardly an advice, but I find that luck plays an important role. Timing and luck are really important. But more than luck, I believe that it's the way that you made them feel that makes you stand out and be remembered. I came across this quote before which I found to be quite true, be it in interviews, work or anything else.

"Sometimes it's not the words you say, because words can be forgotten, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

So yes, I think it's important to make a lasting impression, in a good way of course! I can't say exactly how because I don't know either. I actually still get embarrassed in front of my manager/superior because she was there during the interview and must remember all those things that I rambled on about. Rather embarrassing if I think about it.

And just for laughs, I actually brought these two key chains for the interview, thinking of them as good luck charms. The cute velvet bear is from my mum, which consists of all her wishes for me (quoting from joy luck club again! Haha!), and the bean from Rooftop prince from Korea. Somehow they must have worked their magic!

I took a rather long time to find a job, but I feel that what's most important is to find the job that you truly want, that's the greatest joy. And that is the only way you feel happy, doing what you love and loving what you do.

This is such a wordy and lengthy post. I wonder how many actually read through this. Hahaha this was how blog posts used to look like, chunks of words and no photos!

After remembering and believing in God, I still want to thank everyone who have been giving me support and encouraging me. First of all would be my family who have been at the suffering end when I lament over and get upset over not being able to find a job. They must have gotten sick of hearing the same things over and over yet they never stop encouraging me or pressuring me. As well as my friends who also gave me encouragement, Amanda who almost always comes online to keep me company whenever she could during the holidays, Fanqin for always reminding me that God is saving the best for me. Su xian (though I know she doesn't read my blog or even know my blog address) for motivating me and giving me advice on interviews and answering all my queries! Joanne for praying for me and encouraging me! Ting yu and Sally for always reading this space and commenting and encouraging me as well! You know I love you all.

The exams are coming up real soon and I wish all of you the best! We can meet up after that!