ahh sam, please have the sense of urgency to study! have the urgency to study like the urgency you have when playing bejeweled please! stop playing bejeweled!
the finals have been bad. i dont wish to think anymore.
i have no idea why my fruits in country story are rotten when i harvest them immediately.

ahh sam 2 more to go!

actually i'm not happy.

sometimes you look at others and think 'why can't you be like them?'

For once in a very long time, I shall start complaining here since no one likes to hear me complain about this and that.
Oh well its recess week now. But its no recess. Don't be fooled by the name. But yes I get to wake up late and laze in bed just a little more than usual school days.(:
7 days to cover the 4 modules that i have midterms for.
Getting stressed more and more as I read my chem notes. And organic chem used to be my favourite subject. Now there're so much more things to remember. So many different reagents for the same process. But i shall be able memorize them at the end! And its not helping that I've got no sample questions apart from the textbook to do omg.
Not really sure how to study for econs except from doing the online mcq questions!
And chem report to be done. I keep putting it off because its not to be handed in by this week. Ahh got to get it done soon to focus on the CA.
And the worst has got to be the 1101. The notes are so skimpy and brief I find that I know and understand what is in the notes but when it comes to doing tutorials, its another story altogether. Although i must say i learnt alot from the last tutorial(:
Okay and its back to studying now.
OH and I love next to you by nordin sparks! And the mirotic concert album is super nice! I love 인사 !:D

i am so drained. i should exercise some self control from now on

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeramiah 29:11

i felt so much better after remembering this phrase(:

Hmm, life has been good. Though I've been spending time at home doing nothing. Somehow, when you've got more time, you start to think and your mind starts to wander. I don't like that feeling so i'm going to try to stop those thoughts.
Okay so I'm going to the science faculty in NUS. I don't know if it's the best decision but it's something I like, so all the best to me then. Not really looking forward to school. but yet, I don't really relish in spending the rest of my life staying at home doing nothing. I don't know. I think i'm such a contradiction.
Anyway, I've finished a korean drama gourmet! I like the actor cause he's so charismatic. :D And the actress Kim So Yeon is pretty too(: It's a drama worth watching if you like to eat food hahaha. First korean drama i bought.(:
So problems at home led me to ponder over issues of trust and stuff. I wonder if you can still trust someone after he/she has lied to you or betrayed your trust. I don't know why but i think i wouldn't be able to do that. People may say that i'm behaving very strongly just because of an incident but I cannot seem to believe anyone again. I might say this but who knows whether I'll be so foolish to be taken in another time. Life is really unpredictable. I don't know what to think anymore.
Now that i'm not working, I'm free to meet people I've always wanted to meet but haven't had time to.(: I hope to meet jiayen soonnn((: Hahaha.
College day has been cancelled. I feel relieved yet a little sad. Cause I wouldn't have to fret over what to wear on that day but yet I wouldn't be able to meet people. Hahaha I already said I'm a contradiction.
Alright I'm off to do my registration for NUS!

i realised i haven't blogged for a long time.
hmmm i just read sujun's blog and got an inspiration because it's so reflective, i wonder if i can be like this too.
reflecting on life these days, it seems like i do quite a bit of things but i find that the meaning isn't really that much. all i do is work, give tuition, and go out with friends on weekends. and the purpose? earning money, keeping in contact with friends, when in the past studying was for my future. but i guess this would be for a short period of time. so what am i reflecting about in the first place. i don't want people to think that i make empty promises, like say i'll see them soon, meet them soon, when so much time has passed and yet i haven't met them at all. there's this friend i haven't met since feb 14 and i still haven't arranged a day yet. and it's not that i don't want to.
and i suppose i should make some changes to myself, such as, being more confident, less lazy, more filial, more considerate, more grateful..the list goes on but i guess these cannot change overnight. i will be trying, hard as it may seem.
my mum always says that i do many things for my friends, but yet when it comes to family i'm less ____(what is a word for it?nice?). but i feel that it's not the case. hmm i find that in the case of family, we tend to take them for granted, thinking that they'd always be there. but i've been trying. at our age i feel that it's normal that we prefer to hang out with our friends rather than stay at home (sujun agrees too). but i dislike the fact that people misunderstand me. the fact that people can think so badly of me and everything only shows that they don't know me, which i am so disappointed. but it has happened quite some time ago so i should forget about it. i don't wish to hear anymore of those, you treat your friends so well and yada yada...
apart from those, life has been reasonably good(: met company this week on monday and friday((: and it was enjoyable! i really missed seeing them. and watched 17again with ship and steph which was good:D and on sat i went rockclimbing with sujun and steph, which we spent more time talking rather than climb hahaha sujun sorry i was so timid. and i got dbsk's secret code too!:D which is good the dvd is awesome though there're no subs.

and i'll end with a song i'm in love with- xiah junsu (lately)

Lately, I have had the strangest feeling
With no vivid reason here to find
Yet the thought of losing you's been
hanging 'round my mind

Far more frequently
you're wearing perfume
With you say no special place to go
But when I ask will you be coming back soon
You don't know, never know

Well, I'm a man of many wishes
Hope my premonition misses
But what I really feel my eyes won't let me hide
Cause they always start to cry
Cause this time could mean goodbye

Lately I've been staring in the mirror
Very slowly picking me apart
Trying to tell myself
I have no reason with your heart

Just the other night while you were sleeping
I vaguely heard you whisper someone's name
But when I ask you of the thoughts your keeping
You just say nothing's changed

Well, I'm a man of many wishes
I hope my premonition misses
But what I really feel my eyes won't let me hide
Cause they always start to cry
Cause this time could mean goodbye, goodbye

Oh, I'm a man of many wishes
I hope my premonition misses
But what I really feel my eyes won't let me hide
Cause they always start to cry
Cause this time could mean goodbye

i've been feeling kind of afraid these few days. sometimes i wish to get this done and over with, but yet, i'm afraif of knowing the results. and yes, i'm thinking of the As again. i thought i'd be able to not think about it until 2 weeks later, but i can't forget it aish:/thoughts of my world collapsing keep appearing in my mind. it feels as if my world could end or come crashing down.i don't know. i feel as if i'm living on borrowed time. sounds weird i know, but its the only way i can describe it.
i'm in love with a nice song! i think it's v nice!((:not a new song though.i'll upload it next time.

DBSK- 明日は来るから (Asu Wa Kuru Kara)

ほら　舞い降りた雪がこの手に溶けては
まるで何もなかったように消えてく
ねえ　大切なことは壊れやすいから
僕たちにはつかめない　静かに漂うだけ

はるかな　はるかな　宇宙の片すみ
こうしてふたりが出会えた偶然
奇跡と呼びたいこの気持ちを
君だけに伝えたいよ

ただ　伝えたいことがうまく言えなくて
迷いながら　さがしながら　生きてた
いま　ひとつの光を見つけた気がして
追いかければ逃げてゆく　未来は落ち着かない

何度も何度も立ち止まりながら
笑顔と涙を積みかさねてゆく
ふたりが歩いたこの道のり
それだけが確かな真実

雨降るときには君の傘になろう
風吹くときには君の壁になろう
どんなに闇の深い夜でも
かならず明日は来るから

春に咲く風や (Love, Love, Always)
夏の砂浜
秋の黄昏や (Love, Love, Forever)
冬の陽だまり
いくつもいくつもの季節がめぐり (Love, Love, Always)
重ねあう祈りは　時空さえ超えてゆく

はるかな (宇宙の片すみにいて)
はるかな (想いをはせる)
奇跡と呼びたいこの気持ちを
ただ君だけに伝えたいよ

何度も何度も立ち止まりながら
笑顔と涙を積みかさねてゆく (かさねてゆく)
ふたりがあるいたこの道のり (道のり)
消え去ることはないから (Oh Year)

雨降るときには君の傘になろう
風吹くときには君の壁になろう
どんなに闇の深い夜でも
かならず明日は来るから
君だけに伝えたいよ
かならず明日は来るから

Because tomorrow comes

See how the gently fallen snow melts in my hand
Disappearing until nothing is left.. like it was never there
Doesn't it seem like the most important things are the most fragile...
We can't hold onto them, they just drift quietly away

In a distant, faraway corner of the universe
The two of us met by chance
I want to call it a miracle, this feeling,
And I want you alone to know

But I'm no good at saying what I really want to say
Wandering, searching...that's how I've lived
Now, I think I've found my one and only light
But if I try to pursue it, it will only run away...the future is undecided

While stopping along the way over and over again,
We've shared smiles and tears alike
You and I have made this journey
And that's the only truth of which I am certain

* When rain falls, I'll be the umbrella that covers you
When the wind blows, I'll be the wall that shields you
And however deep the dark of night,
Tomorrow will surely come

The flowers that bloom in spring (Love, Love, Always)
And the sandy beaches of summer
An autumn evening (Love, Love, Forever)
And a sunny spot in winter...
However many seasons come and go,
Our prayer will transcend even time and space

Far away... (In a corner of the universe)
Far away... (I think about you)
I want to call it a miracle, this feeling,
And I want you alone to know

While stopping along the way over and over again,
We share smiles and tears alike (more and more)
Because this journey the two of us have made (this journey)
Won't just fade away

* Repeat

I want to tell only you
That tomorrow will surely come

sorry about the emo posts lately. i wonder why i've been feeling like this of late.perhaps its due to having more time to waste, to pick and choose, to find faults in people and everything there is.and maybe those are the causes of my displeasure or resentment, or maybe i'm just giving excuses for my behaviour.why do i always get called 'silly', 'stupid'?and the sad thing is that i don't find myself being any of those.

i've been feeling kind of tired of late. worked ot until 12 on thurs and 3am on fri, which has left me feeling exhausted even till today!i never imagined i'd have the ability to stay up till 6 without sleeping, so it's kind of an achievement!(: but not one i'd like to repeat though. i think i was in a bad mood halfway. aish. work has left me with a terrible back ache that i've difficulty sitting and standingD:i hope it gets well soon! last week i sat on a convertible for the first time ever(:it was quite fun!:D but i ended up with messy hair though-.-
i woke at 1030 this morning(:hahaha the outcome of not setting the alarm. it feels good to wake naturally:D this would be my most relaxing new year in a long long time! with no holiday homework to be completed or whatsoever. so i just spent my time eating, watching tv and all.i've been listening to the bolero single too, which is really good((:
don't you find chinese new year kind of losing the meaning. you see the people you see once a year, sit there doing nothing, nothing to say, nothing to do but entertain yourself with your phone. and afterall, it takes two hands to clap and both parties have a part in making conversation?
hmm i've been thinking about some stuff these days, and i've decided that i'll be strong and i'll attempt to not be bothered by it. afterall, it's not something that i can change so i'll try to live with it from now on.O:
listen to the nice song(:

忘れないで - 東方神起

This week has been quite an enjoyable week(: Doing the same stuff, getting used to it, some familiarity, so I feel less stressed. Aish, I never realised how mean people can be. But yet I'm not sure of my thoughts and whether they're true or not. But i'll make my conclusion soon. And I really wonder what it'll be. Some people are not as simple as I wish to think they are.O:
I've almost finished watching On Air. I think it's a damn nice show hahaha. On the contrary lan qiu huo is not as good. I find that the plot is still not really developed considering the fact that its already going to end soon but yet I still don't get the plot.-.-
I'm glad I didn't gain any weight, considering that I had honey milk tea two days in a row hahaha(: But this cannot go on! Time to exercise and burn off fats!
Meeting jx tmr(:

so here we are in 2009, and i guess the transition from 08 to 09 is different from most years. without having to worry about school or sitting down at my table to study. it feels carefree yet there's still something nagging at me at the back of my head.it feels as if the future is so uncertain and bleak. but there shall be no emo stuff in this post.
i've been living the life that i've wanted to live for the past few weeks.at least on weekends. i get to wake up at whatever time i want, read books, waste time, to sum it all with one word-SLACK.haha don't i sound so lazy. the wonders of not having to study. it's kind of a liberation, but better not say too much first.
and on a lighter note, i've received my payslip today(: hahaha my first ever pay, so exciting:D so many things i want to do with it.i think the chinese mirotic is nice, like their pronunciation has improved quite a bit since the last time they sang chinese((:
and work, has been alright.except that i'm puzzled by some stuff. why do things have to be so ambiguous. why can't they be 'straightforward' like what mdm leong always says? but i suppose life isn't a math question. i suppose i've to spend more time observing people's actions and behaviour.
i'm looking forward to meet-ups((: