Play your choice.
9.7.09
hmm, life has been good. though i've been spending time at home doing nothing. somehow, when you've got more time, you start to think and your mind starts to wander. i don't like that feeling so i'm going to try to stop those thoughts.
okay so i'm going to the science faculty in NUS. i don't know if it's the best decision but it's something i like, so all the best to me then. not really looking forward to school. but yet, i don't really relish in spending the rest of my life staying at home doing nothing. i don't know. i think i'm such a contradiction.
anyway, i've finished a korean drama gourmet! i like the actor cause he's so charismatic. :D and the actress kim so yeon is pretty too(: it's a drama worth watching if you like to eat food hahaha. First korean drama i bought.(:
So problems at home led me to ponder over issues of trust and stuff. i wonder if you can still trust someone after he/she has lied to you or betrayed your trust. I don't know why but i think i wouldn't be able to do that. People may say that i'm behaving very strongly just because of an incident but I cannot seem to believe anyone again. I might say this but who knows whether i'll be so foolish to be taken in another time. life is really unpredictable. i don't know what to think anymore.
now that i'm not working, i'm free to meet people i've always wanted to meet but haven't had time to.(: i hope to meet jiayen soonnn((: hahaha.
and j has been really really nice, i realise(((((((: (for someone's benefit hahahaha :D)
college day has been cancelled. i feel relieved yet a little sad. cause i wouldn't have to fret over what to wear on that day but yet i wouldnt be able to meet people.hahaha i already said i'm a contradiction.
alright i'm off to do my registration for nus!
26.4.09
i realised i haven't blogged for a long time.
hmmm i just read sujun's blog and got an inspiration because it's so reflective, i wonder if i can be like this too.
reflecting on life these days, it seems like i do quite a bit of things but i find that the meaning isn't really that much. all i do is work, give tuition, and go out with friends on weekends. and the purpose? earning money, keeping in contact with friends, when in the past studying was for my future. but i guess this would be for a short period of time. so what am i reflecting about in the first place. i don't want people to think that i make empty promises, like say i'll see them soon, meet them soon, when so much time has passed and yet i haven't met them at all. there's this friend i haven't met since feb 14 and i still haven't arranged a day yet. and it's not that i don't want to.
and i suppose i should make some changes to myself, such as, being more confident, less lazy, more filial, more considerate, more grateful..the list goes on but i guess these cannot change overnight. i will be trying, hard as it may seem.
my mum always says that i do many things for my friends, but yet when it comes to family i'm less ____(what is a word for it?nice?). but i feel that it's not the case. hmm i find that in the case of family, we tend to take them for granted, thinking that they'd always be there. but i've been trying. at our age i feel that it's normal that we prefer to hang out with our friends rather than stay at home (sujun agrees too). but i dislike the fact that people misunderstand me. the fact that people can think so badly of me and everything only shows that they don't know me, which i am so disappointed. but it has happened quite some time ago so i should forget about it. i don't wish to hear anymore of those, you treat your friends so well and yada yada...
apart from those, life has been reasonably good(: met company this week on monday and friday((: and it was enjoyable! i really missed seeing them. and watched 17again with ship and steph which was good:D and on sat i went rockclimbing with sujun and steph, which we spent more time talking rather than climb hahaha sujun sorry i was so timid. hmm, and morning was good too cause i had breakfast with j((: and i got dbsk's secret code too!:D which is good the dvd is awesome though there're no subs.
and i'll end with a song i'm in love with- xiah junsu (lately)
Lately, I have had the strangest feeling
With no vivid reason here to find
Yet the thought of losing you's been
hanging 'round my mind
Far more frequently
you're wearing perfume
With you say no special place to go
But when I ask will you be coming back soon
You don't know, never know
Well, I'm a man of many wishes
Hope my premonition misses
But what I really feel my eyes won't let me hide
Cause they always start to cry
Cause this time could mean goodbye
Lately I've been staring in the mirror
Very slowly picking me apart
Trying to tell myself
I have no reason with your heart
Just the other night while you were sleeping
I vaguely heard you whisper someone's name
But when I ask you of the thoughts your keeping
You just say nothing's changed
Well, I'm a man of many wishes
I hope my premonition misses
But what I really feel my eyes won't let me hide
Cause they always start to cry
Cause this time could mean goodbye, goodbye
Oh, I'm a man of many wishes
I hope my premonition misses
But what I really feel my eyes won't let me hide
Cause they always start to cry
Cause this time could mean goodbye
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
22.4.09
days have been good((((:
