Always Keep the Faith

Finding myself here when I'm supposed to be doing some reading. Or at least I had intended to. Sometimes I find myself overwhelmed by technology. Where replies are expected to be quick and instant. I don't like that. I admit that sometimes, I am guilty of it too. When things are urgent and I see that 'two ticks' in Whatsapp, I expect the other party to reply me immediately. Gone are the days of sending a text message of 160 characters, where I would try to use up as many characters as possible so as to make the most of it. Often carefully thought through before sending. No, it's all gone now. People (we) send one word replies, one alphabet replies.

Most of all, what I really dislike is being caught in the middle. Does anyone have the same dilemma? Like how I ask someone who needs some expertise which I know someone else who has it. And then it becomes my responsibility to contact the other party. And not forgetting that the one in need already has many options. Then now I get caught in between. This is when I would so gladly wash my hands off this matter, or wish that I hadn't offered in the first place. Stop being so big-mouthed, Sam. 

I'm in the midst of a transition. Back then before I started this transition, I already knew how hard and painful it would be, yet I told myself that this was necessary. I couldn't go on like how I did previously. To give an analogy, it would be getting a new job and informing the colleagues of my impending move. Awkward and all. Feeling like I betrayed all of them by wanting to leave whenever I see them, and the only difference would be that I will still be seeing the people I feel that I betrayed, for a long long time. And this is not the worst part yet. It has yet to come because I haven't told the people whom I have been staying the longest time for about my leaving. I can only imagine the looks on their faces when they see it.

Don't know what point I'm trying to put across with this verbal diarrhoea really. Perhaps its jitters before my first 21.1km run, perhaps it's sudden reflections.

It sounds like an impending stormy rainy night is near.

I've been finding comfort in food lately, which explains by recent or gradual weight gain. I can't say I didn't see it coming, but somehow I tend to overeat my favourite nuts. I need to re-gain the self-control I had over my diet 2 years ago. Two years ago, I bought tops that were 15" in ptp without a thought but now I need to consider whether I will be able to fit into them. Skirts measuring 13" in waist were loose on me and now they feel more fitting and I wear them higher. My arms are bigger too. It's time to take control again, before it's too late.