Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done

So my guesses were right after all, my decision to follow my heart has been met with objections.

But I will not be afraid. Life is too short. We never know when our lives will come to an end. I don't want to live my life not knowing God well enough. I once thought it was sufficient for me to read daily quotes from the bible and learn God's message on my own because my family members are non-believers, but after this, I really don't want to end my life not going to church. Been in a dilemma for the longest time ever and I finally made my decision. Although I would never have chosen not to attend. I was always waiting for the right time, waiting for the time that my family would accept my choice. Though going to church does not make me more Christian than I am now, I believe that it can help me to understand God more. I naively thought that there were no more barriers in between myself and attending church, but an invisible one came out today - my grandmother. The hurtful words, I will bear it all. Facing judgement from my closest family, I will bear it too.

I decided that if I were to attend church, I will not hide, neither will I be secretive about it because it is not anything to be ashamed about. God is good, why should I try to hide that fact that I'm a believer of God?

Sometimes I'm really envious of friends whose entire family are christian, then it would be a family affair. No obstacles to face, simply accepting God. But I always believe that God will always have His own plans. It is said that the foolishest of God is greater than the wisest of man.

I will trust in God's plans. My cousin in Heaven will definitely be pleased to know that I have made my choice because of her.

Today, 3rd March 2013, I confided in my parents. And I thank God for them because they are so supportive and understanding. It's like a huge stone has been lifted up from my back. One thing to look forward to next week! It's a long week ahead with two days of clinic and more work than usual. I hope I survive.

Bought the most expensive dress ever online this week and I'm so pleased with the quality. Been eyeing the Love, bonito Fairfield frock for the longest time ever and I finally bought it in red because dark nude was sold out at that time. I loved the white colour but it was sold out long long ago. The lace details are so pretty. I even contemplated ordering it in XS in nude but I was afraid I wouldn't be able to fit into it, so I bought it in S instead. It fits alright though it's a little loose at the waist. I love it but I'm afraid of looking like a red packet when I wear it out. But I will wear it out soon, after I wear those meant for CNY first.

On another note, took a formal photo for the new staff badge this week and I'm so afraid that it'll turn out bad. I was finally pleased with photo used for my staff pass after all the times I try to hide the photo on my student passes, ez link cards in NUS, JC, secondary and primary school, and now they are going to change it):

And sometimes, or rather during the times I feel lazy and unmotivated to go jogging, I secretly hope that it'll start raining or that the temperature will be so unbearable that I'll be able to not go jogging because of the above mentioned excuses. But today I have no other excuse apart from the fact that I am truly lazy. Oh well, there is always next week, right? Or the week after next.