Running

Put on my running shoes today after a hiatus of two months. Yes I know I've been talking about going running so often but I couldn't bring myself to. There was always a fear at the back of my head, I kept thinking of the two times that I fell for no reason. There was no wet ground or banana skin (?!) on the ground that made me fall. In other words, I can fall just as easily again when I run. I would always give myself silly excuses such as the weather being very hot, and the fact that I had already took a shower once that day. Just reasons so that I wouldn't have to face the fear of running. So I ran away from running (pun intended, can this be considered a pun?) for two months.

I went swimming instead because I felt safe in the water. I always liked swimming and I told myself that by swimming, I could exercise both my arms and legs and that was much better than running. Unfortunately, I don't live beside the swimming complex and often have to take a long time to psych myself to go swimming before I really do it. The inertia is just so great.

But today, my mum encouraged me to go running, probably because she didn't want me to travel so far just to go swimming and also because it would most likely be very crowded. And I decided to because I have really been eating quite unhealthily these few weeks, with frequent meetups and having desserts (whether yummy or not is another story, more on that another day). I knew I had to do something, and today I ran out of excuses. Yes the weather was hot but I just decided to go running. The primary reason being that I ate one too many of my mother's blueberry crumb cake. The top crumb layer is just so good. She baked it because it's our family's favourite cake apart from cheesecake.

So yes, I left the house with a heavy heart, haven't felt that way in a long long time. I prayed to God for strength to overcome my fear of falling and looked at the ground while running. Felt really tired while running all because of the inactivity the past 2 months. I'm happy to say that I still managed to complete the distance that I usually run, which is about 6km or so at the same pace that I ran 2 months ago. It was especially difficult and I had to push myself to increase my pace intentionally.

Nevertheless, it's a baby step towards running again. It can only get easier now, if only the weather was cooler, but I'm thankful for the clear skies. Never going to take things for granted any more. Haven't been reflecting much but one thing I realised is that often, we don't know how to treasure things and people alike until we've lost them. So cliched but true. I find cliched stuff true most of the time, and that is probably why it is still used these days, albeit not so often.

Anyhow, I still have about 4 months to train for the stand chart marathon, so I'm looking forward to improving my timing through regular running. I also hope to include swimming sessions after work too! And exercise is also so that I can allow myself more allowance to eat! All the sugar/fats/cholesterol, be gone!

It's unbelievable how my weekends just zoom past like that. I enjoy life group on Friday and service on Saturday so I'm not complaining.

And volunteering is something I've always liked to do and I must say that this year, I've done the most volunteer work that I have done in my entire life. I like that it is meaningful, not just the things I do, but the relationships forged with the elderly. It's amazing how forthcoming people are, that once they trust you, the rapport is there. How do I say it? I used to resent doing senseless things like helping out at events doing odd jobs, and I still do not see the joy in doing all these, but knowing the elderly folks made all the things I did worthwhile. So I realise that it is not the things that you do that the people see, but the fact that you made time to come to help. Had a very heartfelt talk with one of the residents today. We were knitting using strings made from pieces of t-shirts and she just confided in us. I don't know what made her do so, but I'm glad that she did. She taught me one thing, to give without expecting a return.

I felt ashamed of myself, knowing her story and what she always does to bless others. One doesn't have to be rich to want to give, one just needs to have a heart that is willing to give.

Although I always claim that my mantra in life is to make a difference, I haven't been making much of a difference, so I'm really inspired to give more, be it money, time, love, I will give them all.

That, and Saturday's sermon on Singapore being the antioch of Asia. Really, we are too blessed, overflowing with love that we need to give love.

Shall end with one of the worship songs that grew on me, in line with the title of this blog entry, Running!