Stop Judging

I know I often fall into that trap of judging people on the streets. I was a victim of it recently and I can say for sure that the feeling is horrible, to be judged. I mean, definitely, it know that it IS horrible, but I experienced it first hand and got to know how it really felt. Thankfully for me, mine was just temporary. I truly feel for those with disabilities.

Just because of my scrapped knees (which really looked quite serious and bad), I've had many passers-by frowning at my knees, staring past me even as I walk past. I've also endured the critical looks that I've been given, unable to fathom why my knees attract so much attention. I look at those faces with eyes looking downwards at my knees and see their brains thinking up a reason for the gruesome sight. I don't deny that it was gruesome (refer to photos below) before I visited the nurse for dressing of the wounds. But it doesn't warrant such a look, it's not like I wanted to fall. It hurt so much. I had difficulty walking and the worst thing about knee injuries is that it always opens up whenever you start walking. I walked like a robot literally. I felt so pressurized while walking down the stairs because people expect everyone to be walking so fast and I guess everyone's patience wears thin on weekday mornings as well.

And every time I sit, I couldn't even sit down properly because I couldn't bend my knees. I ended up banging my back against the back of the chair, causing quite a commotion before I was able to sit. In addition to that, the yellow liquid (I don't know what to call those anymore) that keeps flowing. I was really thankful to an uncle who gave up his seat on the mrt to me when he saw my injury and insisted that I sit down though I declined it.





So here, this was how the wounds looked like. My previous wounds were forced open again. And I naively thought that once the yellow liquid dried up and covered the wound, it was well on its road to recovery. How wrong I was. The nurse told me that it was a layer of biofilm, a sign of infection and she had to scrape off that layer to reveal raw, pink skin. The process was so painful to the extent that I couldn't even speak while she scrapped it off. She then applied urgotul, a gauze that contains drying agents that help the wound dry faster and then melolin, which is a type of dressing that does not stick to the wound. After two falls, I've amassed quite a bit of dressing items. I visited the pharmacy daily to buy melolin, sheets to waterproof my wound which sadly, did not work at all, saline solutions to wash up the wound as well as

And to be honest, the first thought that ran through my mind when I fell was first my parents' reactions, next came the realization that I wouldn't be able to run in the runs that I wanted to join. The fear of the wound not being able to recover and that there would be a huge 'scar' only hit after a few days when it hurt like mad. I prayed and prayed continuously, for quick recovery. Thanks to my church friends and insurance agent who prayed for me as well as the nurses who took such good care of my wounds, and my mum who taught me to wrap cling wrap around my knees daily before I took a shower, my wound healed quickly in a span of just two weeks.

Now that my knees are healed and I'm technically able to run again, I'm actually quite afraid that I will fall again. Really, it's no joke, the pain. I'm scared of having to go through the pain again. But that is something I will have to get over someday, perhaps I'll invest in a new pair of shoes first. Meanwhile, it's always fatdieme every week.

So in short, really don't look at people whom you think looks different from any normal person. Just don't even stare at anyone. No one enjoys being stared at at all.