Happy birthday Grandma!

The title says everything. Gave my grandma a treat at Watami on her birthday because I knew that she really likes Watami. It's one of the few Japanese restaurants that she likes. 

Photo of the birthday lady!

We ordered the set for two. Ended up with so much food that I couldn't finish, so my grandma had to eat more. But I know that she likes the food so it was alright!

Sashimi that I found to be so healthy and nice only recently. I've been missing out on so much!

Caesar salad. Sigh I think people (myself included) who order salads in restaurants are just trying to act healthy, since these salads are hardly the healthiest items on the menu with the dressing and sauces. That being said, Watami does serve nice salads. I think the Watami salad is the nicest, but sadly the one that came with the set was just the caesar salad.

I love stone pot rice! It's like a combination of Jap and Korean food, don't you think? Making use of Korean technology of the stone pot so that the salmon, rice and other dishes can be mixed together and further cooked. I remember the first time I ate at Watami with AFC they had a scallops and prawns mixed rice, but I guess it has been removed from the menu.

Army stew. My favourite stew ever since I watched the running man members cook it during one of the episodes. I still prefer the one I had in Korea. Rich in flavour and the cheese. Tempted to cook it one of these days. I miss having kimchi as a side dish for dinner. My mum is such an expert at kimchi making now:D

Happy birthday Ah Ma! Thank you for all your love towards me all these years, for taking care of me ever since the moment I was born. I deem it my great fortune that you're living with us. I am so blessed to have you in my life, to know you, to be taken care of, to be fussed over whenever I show the slightest bit of sadness. I love your home cooked dishes, how you are able to 'anyhow' mix ingredients together yet it still comes out nice and delicious., how you always think cooking is such a simple task that anyone can do whenever I ask you why you are so good at it. Thank you for always allowing me to sneak food right after you dish them out onto the plate, for teaching me how to cook, what I've learnt is just the tip of the ice berg. 

I'm really sorry that I ever doubted your love for me. I was, and still am so immature. Thank you for everything, really. I love you, Ah Ma.

TTR Good Girl Flare Skirt

My first purchase off the racks at KissJane because I love this skirt and its colour too much. Paranoia because I think I will be too slow to get it online. So I bought it right after trying and getting the right size. I bought size M this time. I have it in size L in brick for the previous version but I tried both M and L and L was much looser this time compared to the brick one.

Material wise, this version is made of chiffon while the previous one cotton polyester, which is rougher. I actually like both versions, just that chiffon crumples less easily compared to cotton polyester. The golden buttons make it look more 'elegant'. I like it so much and I'm actually contemplating getting another colour if they open a backorder for it, but having one skirt in three colours would be too much, right?

I just measured the two skirts and they are exactly the same, about 13.4 inches across. But do note that my brick skirt is in size L while the mint one is in size M.

Mint is my new favourite colour. I've gotten so many items in mint recently. It gives off this really refreshing 'feel', don't you think?

Prayer 1

I'm posting this to remind myself of this prayer.

Lord help me to show the people I love that I care, that I love them.
Lord give me the wisdom to see how I can love them more every day, give me the courage to show it out. Give me the wisdom to see others who need my help, I often want to help other people who are needy, but I fail to realise that my family members closest to me cannot feel my love Lord.
Help me Lord, such that I will also learn to love You more and glorify Your name God.

All these are new to me but I'm sure that in time, it can come naturally to me.

And all these I pray in Jesus's name, amen.

Thankful for this reminder:

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11 NIV)

Indeed, God is disciplining me right now, ever so grateful. I want to undergo pruning, like a tree.

Unforgettable

I should have known, right from the start.
We were never equal to begin with, I cannot expect to be treated the same way that you are treated.
But I always hoped, deep down, that we would be.

I will always remember what happened when I was fourteen, when I realised that I would always be treated as an afterthought, never to be the best no matter how hard I try, never to be the one to be on your mind even when I am the one by your side.

Try as I might, I have never managed to forget this incident that happened nine years ago. How can I even forget it now, when the same incident manifests itself in so many ways these days.

I know that I should accept it, but if you'd just admit it, I would feel much better. Instead of denying it, yet showing what is exactly on your mind through your actions. Actions always speak louder than words.

There have been so many times that I tell myself to distance myself so that I will not feel the hurt every time, but I know that is not right.

Thankful to God for teaching me to love someone who has disappointed me.

Hosea 3:2 and Romans 5:8

Jesus did not wait for us to become better people before loving us again. He reaches out to us. I need to remember that a relationship is not just about two people, but three people, including Jesus. We can love only because He first loved us (1 John 4:19)

Thank you God, thank you Jesus. I will try my best even though it gets difficult to handle and I cannot stop myself from distancing myself. But I will memorise 1 John 4:19 to remind myself that Jesus loves us, so that we can love.

These are even better

Forgiveness for the Offender

⁵ If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you to some extent—not to put it too severely. ⁶ The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. ⁷ Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. ⁸ I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.⁹ Another reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. ¹⁰ Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, ¹¹ in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes. (2 Corinthians 2:5-11)

Doing Good to All

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. ² Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. ³ If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. (Galatians 6:1-3)

¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
¹⁵ Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. (Colossians 3:13-15)

Ootoya

I'm always loitering in Clementi Mall during lunch time when I eat outside so I think if anyone asks me what shops there are in the mall, I think I'd be able to give them quite a complete list. That is how I always remember the most useless things and am unable to remember the things that Need to be remembered. Always walked past this shop's advertisement, so I told Amanda that I wanted to try it when we met at Clementi Mall. And tadah! She told me that she tried it before and that it was not bad. So we had it when we met.

I must say that they don't have much variety. I think they serve mostly rice. When I eat out, I actually like having noodles. Somehow, after all these years of eating rice everyday, I've cultivated a habit of ordering noodles when eating outside. But actually, rice is healthier right? Since noodles would be coated with the oil in the soup.

This was what I ordered. The chicken katsu don. I just assume it's called that since it's chicken and rice with egg drizzled over it. Didn't think that it was awesomely good or anything. I think I prefer the one from NUS science canteen's jap stall, though they both aren't entirely similar. It didn't even come with vegetables or anything.

Amanda's tempura prawn set which was good!

Had frozen yogurt at Tutti Frutti after that. We actually wanted to try the black ball dessert that is so popular now only to realise that all they have are sweet potato, yam balls and grass jelly, which I don't like. Haha so that's one dessert that doesn't appeal to me, which is a good thing! So we headed to Tutti Frutti to have frozen yogurt priced according to weight. It was fun watching other customers choose their cups and filling up, and then guessing the weight and price of their yogurts. Good times like these will come again soon(:

Unknown: I know it now

Feeling all sorts of weird now because my sixth sense is always quite accurate and I don't wish for it to be accurate right now. It will not bode well.

The weather is doing nothing to alleviate my feelings. Feeling so ultra-sensitive now for no reason. But I shall have no fear. I will always trust in God and put all my faith, for without faith, it is impossible to please God.
Been thinking so much about what I want to do and my future path. It's a foggy road ahead and I really don't know what is going to happen in future. So much, so many worries and fears, but I know that God is always here with me and He will calm the storm in me.

Just yesterday, when I was feeling so absolutely lousy and lacking confidence in myself, God re-assured me almost immediately by telling me about my worth.

Thank you God, for telling me that my worth is not defined by what I have achieved, what people tell me and choices I've made to date. Yesterday, God reminded me that I am worth something, not just something. I am of highest worth because of Jesus. Because of Jesus who paid the price for all of us.

You are precious and honored in my sight (Isiah 43:4a)

And today, God answered my unsettled heart and mind, as well as my uncertainties toward my future. Though I don't have a clear answer now, I believe that God will show me and use me. He will show me in time to come.

I am not perfect and never will I be. Though I always mention that I trust, I believe, I do have my insecurities, which is why God has always been re-re-re-assuring me. As much as I don't like feeling this way, I still do. I can only prevent myself from feeling the way I do by telling myself that it is in God that I find joy, not worldly possessions. I can only find satisfaction, acceptance from God. Father God, I want to keep my eyes on you and only you. I don't want to get distracted. I will try my very best to fulfill this. Every day is a chance for me to grow closer to you Lord.

And wow, I never meant for my blog to be a public declaration of my love or faith towards God. In JC, I often prayed before I went to bed, but I never once posted it anywhere. I always believed that it's always a conversation between God and I. So writing all these is something new for me as well. I'm never good at verbalising my affection and love. Through this, I hope to get better at expressing my thoughts. At the same time, I want to look back and see how I have grown, from a young christian now to a more knowledgeable one I hope and want to be in time to come. I want to listen to God speaking to me.

It has never been an easy path for me, coming from a family of non-believers. Silly me thought that I would have to walk a path fraught with opposition. I started singing songs to worship God since I was ten (though not actually knowing the meaning of it then), went to a christian JC, kept many bible verses close to my heart. Yet I had never invited Jesus into my heart and life then. I often envied friends whose families were christian, and would never face any obstacles that I thought I would. Yet, it is because I faced all these that made me treasure going to church more.

I attended Hope church once in July last year with Fanqin. She hoped that I'd attend church starting then, but never had the courage to bring up the issue with my parents. Hence, although I really liked the atmosphere then, I didn't want to do things behind my parents' back. The first time I met Jedi 2, they prayed for me despite not knowing me at all. Time lapsed. Fast forward to February this year. It had been 7 months since my last visit to church. Things changed, in part because of my dear cousin who left us so suddenly. It softened my parents' hearts. I couldn't have asked for a more understanding father. Being the staunch buddhist he is, I fully expected him to object to me believing in God. But all he said was 'I have no right to force you to believe in any religion. You are free to believe in what you want to.' On the other hand, my mother understood when I told her that I didn't want to live life not knowing God. At that time, all of us realized how short and unpredictable life was. She relented, and with my parents' approval, I now look forward to attending church every Saturday.

And that above, is my story. How I came to accept God I will leave it for another day.
I shall leave you with a song that never fails to get me so overwhelmed and on the verge of tears.


This song was sang during praise last week and I couldn't sing it at all because I kept getting reminded of my cousin. I teared and wiped my tears away in secret. It is such a perfect song, of God's grace.

Mayim's Chinese Cuisine

This was after swimming one day in Yishun with Su Xian. I love swimming because you get to exercise yet you don't really feel the fatigue associated with land sports such as running, badminton or tennis. But I'm just a really amateur swimmer with a bronze certificate to my name. I still remember going for swimming lessons every week at Farrer Park when I was still in primary school. During that time, I saw swimming as a chore because I was still my fat and unhealthy self. But I guess I did like swimming at that time, just that I always felt very tired after the long sessions. Started swimming again only last year when we decided to make full use of the NUS facilities before we graduated. Thinking of swimming now makes me want to go swimming again!

Both of us are always lost souls when it comes to deciding what to eat. So I left it to Su Xian who has lived in Yishun for almost half her life I think! Haha and she suggested this Chinese restaurant. I guess I'm always more receptive to Chinese food because you can always find something healthier compared to Western restaurants where most of the food are fried and served in huge portions with fries.

I had this spicy la mian with minced pork. Doesn't look very appetising and neither does it look healthy because of the chilli oil and all, but I can never pass up ordering something with chilli whenever I see that there is a spicy option. And it was nice, I liked the soup base and I recall the la mian was not too soggy. 

And it was dessert time! I didn't want to order desserts but Su Xian insisted. Haha and guess what, it was my favourite red bean again. 

This was red bean pancake with banana slices. Yummm. 

How did I not discover the goodness of red bean paste sooner. It all happened before an interview in SGH. I wanted to buy Mr Bean pancake but there was none where I was, so I settled for Jollibean pancake instead. And being the health conscious me, I decided on red bean paste instead of peanut paste. So you see, it was because I didn't want peanut that I chose red bean. But upon taking that first bite, it wasn't that I liked it instantly. And I was just eating because I was hungry. It was after the interview that I felt that the pancake tasted really good. The rest is history now, hahaha. I always order the red bean pancake whenever I get to. And maybe someday, I'll come up with a list of outlets with the most generous red bean paste and the nicest pancake, so I'll get an excuse to try all the red bean pancakes at all the outlets! Hahaha:D

6 months ago

Exactly 6 months ago, I started working at my first full time job ever. And 6 months later, today, I'm really glad and thankful that I passed the probation(: It's where I'll be for the next 2 and a half years.

Learnt so much more than what my job really entails, so blessed to sit in a room with people who take great care of me.

The day I was born again

This is hardly a glam photo but I just have to put it up because it holds so much significance to me. It's a celebration of my public announcement. Like the pastor said, 'No longer just Jesus and I under the tree.' So true though amusing as it may sound. While no one in my family will see it as a celebration for me, I celebrated it with the people I attend church with over dinner and prayers yesterday.

Never did I expect myself to get baptised so soon since I just started attending church just about a month or so ago. Not that I didn't want to, but I just felt that I was unprepared when my friend spoke to me about it last week. I just thought to myself, 'No, this is too soon. I'll wait for the next one.'
I had this mindset right until about 6:30 yesterday during service. The service, being about baptism as well, struck a chord in me. It changed my mindset, that there was no need to wait for the time when I felt fully prepared since there is actually no difference between a christian who is not baptised yet and a christian who has been baptised. At some point during the service, I wanted to do it then but silly me was worried about the logistics. I didn't bring a single thing to change, but they had everything prepared.

And actually, throughout the time that I was waiting for my turn, I was really worried about how my parents and family would react to it because I don't like doing or hiding things from my family. But I decided to worry about how to let them know about it later. All these worries disappeared after the leaders prayed for me.

When others asked me how I felt after the process, I couldn't answer them because I was so unprepared and I couldn't describe my feelings accurately. But indeed, on the way home yesterday, I felt different. I had this feeling like I was starting out on a brand new slate, everything wiped clean. I am determined to start afresh and follow God.

Really, God is good, so good, too good for words. I am always on the verge of tears during service because I get so touched by the wonder of God. I can't believe that I took so long to accept Jesus into my life even though I have been singing songs of praise since I was ten. But I'll never doubt God's timing because it is always perfect.

It must have been God who gave me that courage to tell my Mum about it. I felt so happy and I really wanted to share the news so I told it to almost every friend who I knew was a christian. All of them shared my joy too, though it's kind of sad that my family who is closest to me don't understand how I feel. But that's alright, I will keep praying so that one day they will. Their silent support for me is sufficient and I'm really really thankful for that. I really want to draw closer to God each and every day.

As quoted from Philipians 4:13, I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.

This was the very quote in my mind right before my interview for my current job. I have no idea how this quote appeared in my mind out of the blue. And I'm thankful every day that I have a job, though some days might not seem to be smooth sailing. But that's how life is, isn't it? It adds colour to life, however unwelcome it might seem.

Batam 2012

Not in chronological order because it was just a short trip of 2d1n. Even that is an overstatement because well, there really wasn't much to do there, apart from being tortured throughout the one hour massage which we couldn't back out from and brought to places to buy stuff in which the tour guides earned a commission, needless to say that we didn't let him earn any because we had no interest in whatever was being sold, except for the layer cakes which we got scammed into buying upon hearing the word 'home-made'. 

We took a ferry to Batam island, spent a horrid amount of time stuck at the customs because of the huge influx of tourists at that time. 

Nice view from the ferry cos we sat at the top deck. This was on our journey back to Singapore. I'm not a really good photographer but I try to capture nice shots. The horizon looks kind of horizontal here, which means my point and shoot skills are getting better!

Our hotel for the night. I must say that for the price we paid, we got a really good deal because the hotel was really good.

Another attempt at an abstract shot. I had to bend really low to capture top of the building.

When in Indonesia, have A&W! It was my first time trying A&W, I guess I must have had them when I was a kid but I don't remember. I don't really fancy soft drinks so I ordered this to try only. Don't understand the fascination with floats because I only like the ice cream that sits atop the drink.

This is an entirely different story altogether. It would have been my staple food, if not for the butter and eggs that went into making it. I cannot emphasize more on how I love love love waffles and pancakes, and A&W makes really good waffles. Why don't we have this in Singapore. But then again, it's a good thing that it can only be found overseas, then I wouldn't be always tempted by this.

Our hotel room. 

Lunch on the first day, buffet style. This was my plate which was filled with more dishes than the mains of fried noodles. One thing I like about Indonesia is that they always have fruits at every meal, probably because it's easily available.

Highly coveted waffles during breakfast at the hotel the next morning. We woke up late, went down late to find almost all the food wiped out by the early birds. By that time, they already stopped replenishing the food so we had to make do with what was left. Lesson to learn: Always be early whenever there is breakfast provided.

On a very unrelated note, visiting countries that are less developed compared to Singapore always gives me a realisation about how lucky and blessed I am to be born in Singapore. Being in a comfortable environment always inevitably breeds discontentment whenever we face small problems like trains being delayed and other minute events. I admit that I am guilty of complaining, grumbling and lamenting over all these as well, but after experiencing all these, I realised how small my problems were compared to theirs. At least, I don't have to worry where/when my next meal will be and how I will get the means to survive the next day. It's really sad that there is always social immobility, in the sense that it is very difficult for the poor to break out of their poverty, and that the rich just get richer. Where would the poor get money for education when their primary concern is money for food and survival? It really is all a matter of the opportunities one can get. It exists everywhere, just that it seemed more pronounced in a country like Indonesia. Henceforth, one goal that I want to work towards is to be content. No, not just being content, but being grateful and thankful everyday for everything that I've been blessed with. It really is a blessing because all that I have, it is not because I've done something great to deserve this, but simply by God's grace. I like the word Grace.  

At my brother's request, I bought this Home-made cheese flavoured layer cake which was nowhere as good as the layers brand that could be found at the ferry terminal but cost so much more. Bought half an original layer cake from 'layers' at the ferry terminal because I had too much currency left and was trying to spend them all, but to no avail. That half cake was really good, though I didn't have much. Layer cakes are super high in calories. Part of my weight gain over the years must have been due to these cakes, sheesh. Thank God I found out about eating healthily. 

Part two of breakfast. 

And I lugged quite a fair bit of toiletries home because they were really really cheap over in Indonesia. Haha so if anyone is going to Indonesia and has no where else to spend money on, just buy toiletries home! Or try the seaweed flavoured Lays which cannot be found in Singapore. I know I shouldn't be advocating the consumption of chips but it tasted rather nice! And always, everything in moderation. Okay I'm sounding like Hovstad/Aslaksen from An Enemy of The People and/or a health freak. 

Love, Bonito Denise Shirt dress

I've really got to applaud myself for reaching yet another level in shopping online. Haha I'm not proud of it, but I was amazed at myself. I saw this dress in their preview and really really liked it cos I've been looking for a denim shirt dress for some time. So I thought to myself, okay I shall attempt to camp for this dress when they launch it. During the launch, the first time I really wanted to buy something, the website crashed! Not sure if it happened before because it certainly was my first time experiencing it. And thanks to their 15 minute cart system, I kept refreshing the page and got it secured in my cart, pondering over whether I really should get it since it costs a hefty $34. But like always, resistance is futile when it comes to shopping for me, so here it is. Wore it out the following weekend for my Mum's birthday lunch. 

The denim is rather thin and unlined. I like to think that it's appropriate for the local weather, yet it also means that it can't keep me warm. And I guess I wouldn't wear it with the sleeves down as it looks kind of too much. The belt that came with it was of reasonable quality so it was a rather good buy. The length of 33" is alright for my height too. One of the few dresses that I wore out almost immediately after receiving it from the mailbox:D And my Mum told me to buy one for her when she saw me in it, but the backorders already closed when she told me that><